For the past few weeks, I've been stuck in my writing. Both in the main story of Safia, and a short story featuring Peder, the star of this short, by the way. One of the reasons, I'm sure, was because I was in the middle of finishing a couple books I was reading. For me, while I love to read, mixing the two, doesn't quite work.
And so, yesterday I decided to try something totally new to me:
Chainsaw Therapy.
What you will read below is the result of this writing exercise, thanks to a blogger, Lady Katie of Whisperings of the Pen, I stumbled upon a while back. You can read her version here. The whole purpose of this exercise is to keep your mind, your characters and your ideas fresh. And I believe it works! I had a lot of fun with this one.
Just a little bit of background:
- Peder Grey is actually a minor character in the bigger story of Safia I've been working on. Hopefully, you'll get to see more of him soon.
- the Guard is an elite fighting force of Gondoa, a major country in Safia's world, based on the U.S., in medieval terms, of course. The force is charged in the defense and protection of the castle, it's royal family, and the kingdom, in general. There are three ranks: Cadet, which covers the junior members and rookies of the Corps (Peder is one); Captain, which are the senior members (the Elf, Jaron); and Commander, the highest rank of officer in the force. There are only three Commanders total in the whole force of 100 members, making up the Council of the Guard.
Please keep in mind this is a rough project...
Oh, and be warned, it may be a tad long...
But do enjoy!
chainsaw therapy
Featuring Peder Grey, Cadet Guard of Gondoa
Peder sighed aloud in the stillness of
late-evening. Patience was definitely not a virtue of his.
Jaron had said to meet him here, and
yet, Jaron himself was not here. It was unlike his Elvish partner to
be late. Apparently, something of importance must have come up.
There was no other explanation.
He shrugged to himself, rubbed his
neck out of habit, and reclined against the large trunk of oak. Dusk
had fallen and the chilly air of Autumn
began to get colder, giving Peder the feel of Winter.
Rubbing chilled hands together, he
debated on setting up a temporary camp, wondering how long Jaron was
going to make him wait. His captain had sent no further
instructions. Two hours past the time set to meet was far from
normal for his Elf friend, even though he was known to be
unpredictable.
Again, he sighed and pulled himself to
his feet, a decision made to at least start a fire, his rumbling
stomach having helped to make the choice. With kindling gathered
from the nearby area, he soon had a decent fire burning. Looking
around at the surrounding wood, he wondered suddenly if this was some
kind of test. But the tall giants of the Wyndor Forest were as
majestic and silent as ever.
“Come on, Cap,” he muttered, using
the nickname he'd given Jaron as a captain of Gondoa's special force,
the Guard. “I'd rather not be here all night,” he added, brushing
sandy-blond hair from his face. His eyes flicked to his force's
chosen weapons, a longbow and quiver, both resting against the trunk
of his present seat, and his broadsword,
secured at his belt. As a requirement of the
Guard, each member was to be skilled in a number of weapons – among
those mentioned above was the quarterstaff and double-daggers, a pair
of well-balanced throwing knives, which he kept hidden.
Resuming his previous position against
the tree, he had just settled comfortably once more when an
ear-splitting sound of foreign origin broke the calm of the night.
GRRRGBBRRCHIKKAWHIRRRRHHHHHH!!!
Instantly, the young man was on his
feet, sword in hand, completely out of sorts as to what had made the
unearthly noise, which now sounded off a steady growling rumble.
With his back pressed against the tree he'd used, Peder slowed his
breathing, relying on the long hours of stealth training to take
over.
Slowly, he peered around the vast
trunk only to jump back to its protection at the sound of a
tremendous crash, which he realized was the fall of a tree.
Baffled and bewildered beyond belief,
he peeked once again and caught sight of a bulky figure, holding the
source of the terrible noise, some kind of metal... object. To the
man's left lay the fallen trunk of an oak tree.
Angered at this sudden destruction and
intrusion upon the quiet of his country, Peder stepped from the
shadow of the trunk and called through the dusky light to the
intruder.
“Hey! What in the realm of Gondoa do
you think you're doing??”
Surprised, the figure turned revealing
an overly-bushy beard and what must be denim overalls, though Peder
wouldn't know of this article of clothing. His faded, red flannel
shirt, sweat-stained baseball cap, and scuffed work boots completed
his strange outfit. Burly, hairy forearms protruded from rolled up
sleeves and Peder found, to his amazement, that underneath the queer
hat the man was entirely bald.
Upon seeing Peder, the man's bearded
face widened into what must be a smile, from which large white teeth
showed.
“Well, howdy there, laddie-buck!
Come t' see m' handi-work, eh?” he shouted in greeting over the
dull roar of the beast. With a gloved hand, he silenced the monster
and set it on the freshly cut stump. Slapping his hands on his
thighs to dislodge the shavings, he looked at Peder, who had stopped
his forward progress, wary of the stranger. The man straightened,
peered closer at the younger man, and laughed.
“My, don't yew look a sight!” This
statement brought a blush of angry red to Peder's cheeks and he
stammered, sword still in hand, pointed at the man ten feet from him.
“Wha– I look... a sight! Blast
it, man, you–”
“Nay, s'alright, laddie, I've seen
worse in m' day,” said the stranger, holding up a hand. Removing
his right-hand glove, he came forward, offering to shake. Peder,
unsure of the gesture, backed up a step, and the burly figure noticed
his sword for the first time.
“Watcha got there? A pig-sticker?
Haw! Wait-a-min'it...” The big man's face suddenly changed to confusion. “Where
didja say this was? Gondoa? Ne'er heard o' that country,” he
mumbled, scratching his bushy chin. Eyes wide, he looked anew at the
young man, never giving Peder a chance to talk. “Ya mean I'm not in
Kansas anymore?” As soon as the words left his mouth, he slapped
his forehead with a large palm. “Darn it, wrong line,” he
muttered, glaring up into the trees.
Peder's eyes darted up and he heard a giggle. Confused, he squinted trying to see what had caused it, but his peripheral vision caught the movement of the man before him and he returned his focus, jerking the point of his sword level, following the man's every move. The stranger pulled on his gloves and went to the stump where rested his beast.
Peder's eyes darted up and he heard a giggle. Confused, he squinted trying to see what had caused it, but his peripheral vision caught the movement of the man before him and he returned his focus, jerking the point of his sword level, following the man's every move. The stranger pulled on his gloves and went to the stump where rested his beast.
“Righty-ho, lad, I must be off.
Thot these here woods looked odd, I did. Says I, must've stumbled
into one o' those portal-mahickeys ya read in books an' the like.
Ne'er imagined 'twould happen to this ol' coffer.
Haha! Wait'll the boys hear this tale,” he went on to himself,
rubbing his chainsaw tenderly. Mutely, Peder listened, the words
jumbling together in his befuddled mind. He stiffened once again as
the man starting walking, waving his free hand in the air, looking up
and about for something obviously invisible.
“Now, where did it go? Gotta be here
somewhere... Ah! Here yew are, yew ol'–” The man's words were cut
off and he vanished with a faint poof!.
Peder couldn't stop his jaw dropping
wide open, nor his eyes as they widened in disbelief. With sword
still trained to where the man had vanished, he forced his feet to make a
slow circle.
Only the fallen tree and himself now
occupied the immediate area. The surrounding trees seemed to stand as still as ever, innocently laughing at him.
Darkness was almost complete, the
light from the happy blaze glowing twenty feet away being the only
source for as far as you could see. He let out a breath and started
toward it, knowing the warmth of its reality would be a welcome
sight.
He had taken two steps when he heard
the giggle. He froze and swung his sword up toward the trees.
Realization dawned at this moment and he let out a nervous sigh of
relief, though still quite angry. Sticking his sword point in the
ground, he spoke.
“Miss Sarah, I believe you owe me an
explanation.” The giggle sounded again and a voice spoke from
behind.
“Dear Peder, I was only stuck in a
bit of a rut, if you know what I mean,” the voice replied, rather
sheepishly.
Startled, he pivoted to face the
speaker. A dark-haired maiden dressed simply in a full-length
wine-red skirt and white blouse stood innocently with pen and
notebook in hand. He relaxed his grip on the sword hilt and glared
at his guest.
“You beat everything, you know that?
And no, I don't know what you're talking about.” She started to
speak, but he continued, “and I don't really want to know. But the
next time you send a crazed madman into my part of the world, think
twice, alright?” The girl blushed and nodded, then giggled again.
“You gotta admit, it was pretty
funny.”
He threw her an icy look.
“Alright, alright,” she said,
holding up both hands. “Nothing too weird in the near future.”
Peder nodded once and she muttered. “Even though I had this great
idea...” Her words faded when she caught the next look on her
character's face. “Okay, relax. I'm going now.” He nodded
again, blinked, and she was gone.
Peder shook his head, as if to clear
the mud from his thoughts.
“Never going to get used to that.”
He turned and suddenly came face to
face with Jaron, who stood silently with a pair of horses tethered
together.
“Aaah!” he yelled, dropping his
sword and stumbling backwards. Jaron grinned.
“Jumpy, are we?”
Peder glared at the Elf, but accepted
his offered hand as Jaron pulled him to his feet.
“Don't. Do. That,” Peder muttered,
emphasizing each word. He dusted himself off.
Jaron started for the fire but stopped
short when he noticed the fallen tree and clean-cut stump. His
eyebrows went up as he looked from the stump to Peder's sword, which
the young man now held as he wiped it clean of dirt.
“Don't ask,” he said.
Jaron shrugged, there were more
pressing matters at hand than finding an explanation for anything
that happens in the presence of Peder, known for his laughter and
care-free humor. Instead, he
proceeded to fill a small pot with water from a water-skin to make
coffee, knowing that would calm his skittish partner, somewhat.
Unintentionally, because of a matter back at the castle, he had been
forced to make Peder wait.
“Change of plans,” he began, Peder
looked up from adding wood to the blaze. “I apologize for the wait,
but we have a new mission of great importance.” Forgetting, for
the moment, the events of the evening, Peder turned all his attention
to his partner, who pulled a piece of parchment from his shirt.
“Our mission, should you choose to
accept, is–”
“Wait. Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“What – what you just said,
'should you choose to accept...' It's not like we have a choice,
right?” He heard another giggle and nearly over-turned the pot
while scrambling to his feet. Jaron's hand on his arm stopped him.
“Forget it, Grey. Maybe you should
get some sleep, we have an early start in the morning.” Folding the bit of parchment, the Elf
threw him a bedroll and grinned as he watched the young man grab it
and walk off a ways, muttering to himself. He thought he heard
something like “madman” and “that woman.” Moving to tend to the horses, he wasn't surprised by the voice.
“Jaron, was I too hard on him?”
“No, he'll get over it.” Jaron
looked at the maiden now sitting by the fire petting a grinning
purple cat. “That was your line, wasn't it?”
“Well, sort of. I kinda borrowed
it... Inspiration.”
“Ah.”
“And the other line, too.”
“I see.”
There was an awkward silence while the cat
purred, still grinning broadly.
“Do you think he's asleep?” she asked a moment later.
“I can hear you.” Peder whispered
in her ear. He had crept up behind her as they talked. Jumping, she
shrieked and the cat disappeared. She glowered at Peder as he burst
out laughing.
“Peder Grey! You'll be the death of
me!” But she started laughing, too.
“I guess I deserved that,” she admitted, as the laughter died, Peder agreed.
Sighing, she stretched her legs and
breathed deeply, thoroughly enjoying the calm night and warm fire.
“Thanks, guys, I needed this.”
“You are always welcome at our
fire.” Both men stood as she did and they exchanged a curtsy and
bows.
“Be careful on this new mission!”
she said, picking up her notebook and starting down the path. They
watched her until she vanished from view. Peder added another log to
the fire and sat down, deep in thought.
“Hey, Jaron?”
“Hmm?” Jaron turned from the
horses, half an apple in hand.
“Do you think she could give me
super-strength?”
“What?”
“You know, make me as strong as ten
men or–”
“Come on, Grey, bedtime.”
Peder sighed.
“Yes, Pa. 'Night, Pa.”
He was promptly silenced by a harmless
riding glove thrown his way.
Okay, I admit, I kinda went overboard on this one. But it is just an exercise and hello! I'm the authoress!! Ha! I can do anything! the pages are my own! The world is MINE TO CONQUER!!!!!!!!! BWAHAHA!
Ahem.
Anyway, hope you got a kick out of it and if you are having a dreary, miserable day, I hope this brings a smile to your dreary, miserable features.
Until next time!
Great job Sarah! Love the movie lines thrown in.
ReplyDeleteLove ya,
Mom
Oh, that was hilarious! I was at your aunt's house today, and Julia walks into the room and saws "Ever heard of 'Chainsaw Therarpy'?"
ReplyDeleteMy eyebrows raised, "No.... Is this a joke?"
Mr Thomas hollers from the other room, "No, but that sounds interesting!"
So I got to hear your story directly from the lips of your dear sister! She did the voices, I think, just perfectly.
Very creative, Sarah. I think I'll have to do some writing exercises soon.
Great work,
Ashlin
I liked that! Especially the last quote, "Yes, Pa. 'Night, Pa." Hahaha =D
ReplyDelete